Family Screening cross generational coalition for Social Workers / School Teachers

What this tool does: Helps identify when a child is caught in an unhealthy alliance with one parent against the other parent. This can harm the child’s emotional health.

Case Information

Your Name

Agency

Date

Child’s Initials

Child’s Age

Case Number

What is a Cross-Generational Coalition?

When a parent and child team up against the other parent in an unhealthy way. The child is pulled into adult conflict and rejects one parent to please the other.

Sign 1: Broken Bond

The child rejects one parent while staying close to the other

1. Does the child refuse contact or show strong dislike for Parent A, but gets along fine with Parent B and others?

Yes – Strong rejection of one parent only Sometimes – On and off rejection No – Rejection is not selective

2. Does the child show no normal sadness or missing feelings when kept away from Parent A for a long time?

Yes – Seems fine without that parent Not sure – Hard to tell No – Child shows normal missing feelings

3. Is the child cold, mean, or dismissive to Parent A in ways that seem extreme or not deserved?

Yes – Extreme hostility observed Some – Mild negativity No – Attitude matches the situation

Sign 2: False Story

The child believes Parent A is dangerous or bad, even when evidence shows otherwise. These beliefs don’t change even when Parent A acts loving.

4. Does the child insist Parent A is bad, dangerous, or doesn’t love them, even when you see proof this isn’t true?

Yes – Fixed false beliefs clearly present Partial – Some rigid thinking No – Beliefs match reality

5. When actually with Parent A, does the child show no fear (acting differently from what they claim)?

Yes – No fear during visits Mixed – Some anxiety but not matching claims No – Fear appears real and consistent

6. Does the child repeat Parent B’s exact words or stories about Parent A (sounding coached or rehearsed)?

Yes – Uses identical phrases/adult words Somewhat – Similar stories No – Child’s own words

Sign 3: Borrowed Attitudes

The child acts like Parent B, showing coldness, entitlement, or black-and-white thinking that is beyond their years.

7. Does the child show no caring or empathy when Parent A is upset or hurt?

Yes – Cold and uncaring observed Partial – Limited empathy No – Age-appropriate caring

8. Does the child act entitled, superior, or arrogant toward Parent A (talking down to them)?

Yes – Clear entitlement/superiority Mild – Some attitude No – Normal respect for age

9. Does the child see one parent as all-good and the other as all-bad (no middle ground)?

Yes – Black-and-white thinking Partial – Some extreme views No – Balanced view of both parents

Other Warning Signs

Check all that you have seen in this case

Child uses grown-up words like “This is my own decision not to see the other parent” “unsafe environment” or “boundaries” Child rejects Parent A’s family (grandparents, aunts/uncles) without reason Child says they have “no good memories” of Parent A Parent B monitors calls, texts, or visits and interferes with contact Child shows no mixed feelings about rejecting Parent A (seems fine with it) Bad stories about Parent A get worse when court dates are coming up Child and Parent B seem too close (sharing adult secrets, no boundaries) Rejection started suddenly when parents separated or divorced

Your Other Observations (Optional)

Ekspose Them